Dance is My Oxygen, Issue 10 – Am I Enough?

September 4, 2014

Am I Enough?

I have battled with this my entire life. Demanding choreographers and teachers loved to belittle me in an effort to get me to dig deeper. Dig further into myself, hoping to find more passion, more technique, more grace. Hurtful as it may have seemed at the time, it worked. I now have grit. And I now see myself as an individual with nothing to prove on the Marley

A friend once said, “Never let them steal your joy, never allow someone to take from you what your creator has gifted in you.” These were wise words that have become useful in other areas of my life as well.  Like when I found myself listening to someone very close to me tell me that no matter how hard you work there isn’t always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This sent me into a month-long depression because at the time, I thought I was enough. I believed that if you want something you have to work for it: simple. You want it, need it: just work for it, it’s yours. You get what you put out. So I worked extremely hard to prove I belonged, to prove I had more than what people saw on the surface. Hearing those words from someone I loved at such a young age shook my will to try for a minute.  I thought to myself: why work if it amounts to nothing? Why spend years fighting for something you will never have? But once I began to reflect on why I started dancing in the first place and thought about  my reasons for enduring the pain and struggle and endless criticisms I realized it was about the journey. Once I thought about all that I had in me, how no one else in the world was like me, how no one had what gifts I had, I was at peace.

I also thought about the joy dance brought me, the feeling of being alive and closer to my most valuable and divine self, and how it made me feel. When I danced I felt like it was the closest thing to being in the same space as my creator, like a prayer. I was who I was meant to be in that very moment the music pierced through my soul and my feet hit the Marley.  I knew then just as I know now that I’ve been gifted, before birth with the teachings of a million dancers, the will, the skill, the craft of dance. It’s up to me daily to perfect my craft. I have to learn and continue the journey.

Dancers, try not to get so bogged down with what you don’t have and what you can’t do that you lose sight of all you do have and why you started dancing in the first place. Learn, practice and fine-tune your instrument. Live in the joy of the movement and know that today – in this moment – You Are Enough!

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